Miracles are still happening! (GoFundMe Update1)

Our hearts are full today. We are so thankful for the outpouring of support we have received from our friends, from our family, and from strangers. We love you and are grateful you've decided to become part of our story.

We have been so inspired to see Abigail's story shared via Mike Crockett's beautiful video about her short and important life. It has been viewed now thousands of times! I am simply blown away by the tender comments, the promises of prayers, and the kindness of strangers. I know Abigail and angel babies with similar conditions have power in their stories -- power to inspire us to love more deeply and more truly, power to change the heart of a mother wrestling with the decision to continue her complicated pregnancy, power to remind parents to hug their little ones a little tighter tonight. We hope Abigail's bright light has made your life better in some way. We are so grateful to all who shared her story.

We have been praying for a solution to our financial problems, whether it happened through GoFundMe or some combination of factors. Well, we have really good news! Our medical bills just got lower, like, by a lot!

The total we now need is $5, 071.98! We are already over halfway there! Here is the breakdown, for the sake of transparency:

$2488.43 Last hospital bill (This is a huge difference from what it was! You should have seen Bill's face! You guys, we can't even express how grateful we are the hospital changed this patient responsibility amount.)
$2235.00 Katrina's postpartum root canal
$242.55 Child's ER visit for rollerblading accident
$106.00 Katrina's postpartum clinic visit to diagnose vasovagal syncope

We've changed our goal amount to reflect these huge reversals in our medical debt situation.

The best good that has come out of this fundraising experience already has been the treasured opportunity of sharing Abigail with the world. She's out there now for people to get to know on their own time, even beyond the urgency of a GoFundMe campaign.

Yesterday our family went to visit Abigail's grave with roses and lilies. I brought with me the first rose that grew on the Angel Face rose bush in Abigail's memorial garden in our front yard, a plant that Mike and Heather Crockett gave us at her funeral. Seeing that little angel statue, which represents Abigail to our young family, as she held that Angel Face rose, I felt a sense of completeness. The rose bush already has more buds getting ready to bloom and all of the things Abigail set in motion by her birth will continue growing and traveling, all the flowers and all the love. I'm grateful to have been part of this. I feel we have made Abigail happy. I know she is near, looking after her brothers who, heaven knows, need looking after. Thanks for being part of our journey to completion.

Please share this fundraising link with anyone who can help us reach our new, easier goal and also with the people your heart tells you need more Abigail in their lives. Thank you!!!

GoFundMe: https://gf.me/u/x7ftk4

Abigail's 3-Month Birthday

Source: https://pixabay.com/photos/babe-smile-newborn-small-child-boy-2972221/

Tommorow, Abigail will have been 3 months old. She would be chubby and nap a lot. She would be able to respond to sounds, and make them as well. She would begin to smile a lot and start learning how to roll around on her blanket. I would hold her every time I got the chance and look into her beautiful face.

Today I asked my family how they are going to celebrate Abigail's 3-month birthday (Daniel and Ben couldn't do it because they are at their grandparents house).

Here is the video:

https://youtu.be/U-N4p5tjXHo

And me? I'm going (try) to sketch a picture of Abigail and put it on one of my mirrors so that I can see it every day when I wake up.

Happy Birthday, Abigail!

Miracles and Messages: A Butterfly From Abigail

Look at this sweet butterfly I found in the memorial garden we are making for Abigail! It was covered in soil but is quite beautiful after being cleaned off.

While picking up a refrigerator part in Nephi with Bill at the local hardware store, I also bought several packets of flower seeds to add to Abigail's garden.

Right away when we got home, I started planting. I don't know which of these are really supposed to be planted in early spring, but I am impatient to get flowers going in Abigail's garden. I thought I needed to have a little gardening fork, so I walked around the side of the house, thinking about the gardening fork. I laughed when the one that matched the image in my mind materialized on the ground in front of me as a plastic children's toy. That'll work, I thought. I picked up the plastic gardening fork and clawed at the moist soil, so enriched by the winter snows and recent rains. The topsoil came loose easily, and I planted the seeds in various places around the garden. As I prepared to deposit the chamomile seeds beside our Angel Face rose bush, the gardening fork caught on something. At first it was just a clump of metal covered in soil, so I didn't realize how special it was until it flipped over and I saw its shape. It was a butterfly. How sweet is this?

After my post about trying to find a new normal and being like a new butterfly, it seemed especially special. I put it with my special amaryllis that bloomed so beautifully while we were waiting for Abigail to make her appearance on earth, so it's there in my window sill.

I can't wait to see which flowers come up in our special Abigail garden!

Last week we received the photo CD and 4x6 prints of the pictures Common Bonds took for us on the day Abigail passed. There are so many heart-rending photos of her sweet feet adorned with our wedding rings or of Bill holding me up as I stood for the first time after a day and night in the ICU. Some of them are too personal to share. 

But there are also family photos that I had been waiting on. I cannot wait to hang the one with all eight of us together. It is going on a prominent wall in the living room which will be filled with family pictures. Right now there are only paintings. This is the one we decided to blow up on canvas.

And we ordered a smaller one of this one, with just Bill, me, and Abigail.

Costco is having a 20% off deal for canvas prints right now, so that's a sweet deal. I wish we could print all of the pictures on canvas because there are so many beautiful ones. This one of me with my only daughter is very special to my heart.

We are just so blessed to have these photos to remember this precious part of our eternal family. Finding that butterfly today made me feel connected to her, like she is aware of our efforts to remember her and keep her in our hearts. I know as we stay open to these messages and miracles, we will continue to feel this connection with her throughout our lives until we get to rejoin her with God.