On Wednesday of this week, Jacque from Angel Watch stopped by, keeping her distance on our front steps, to give us this bear and a couple of books for grieving families. This is a Winnie Bear. It's named for the baby of a mother who originated this practice for Angel Watch. They take a blanket that is special to your baby and turn it into a teddy bear, complete with the baby's name and her birthday, if you like. I think ours turned out absolutely adorable. The first thing Layne (10 years old) said when he held it was, "Aww, it's as big as Abigail!" Then he fetched Abigail's owl, Athena, and pretended our Abby bear was holding the owl like Abigail did on her one day on earth.
I'm grateful for the bear, and kind of sad Jacque couldn't come in and chat more. I know Angel Watch normally links people to local grief support groups that meet in person, and right now none of that is going on.
My ward at church had our monthly book club via Zoom this past month and will do it the same way in April. It was good to see faces and hear voices. I wonder when we will get to hug again.
It's been a time of many mercies and small miracles after our big miracles that accompanied Abigail's birth and our time together. Still, there's a wistfulness when the isolation you naturally feel in grief is reinforced by actual physical isolation.
I think we are all going to feel so amazing when we can gather again, even if it is for the purpose of grieving those we have lost.
Last week, Bill's aunt, Diane Brandt, died from the effects of Covid-19 after a battle that went on for almost three weeks. We are sending our condolences virtually and wishing there was more we could do. But I love the way people have surrounded Bill's uncle virtually. People have brought him meals, too, which is the one physical aid we can still give to each other. I have been enjoying his facebook posts about Diane's life, videos and pictures of the family, pets, and pursuits that meant something to her. The way we grieve has been changed, hopefully only temporarily. It's still beautiful, but it feels...
I don't know, somehow empty. To touch is to connect on another level.
One of my artist friends who works with photo manipulation created this beautiful piece called
Social Distancing
In grief we mourn the loss of the person who died. But today we also mourn the loss of contact that normally would have comforted us. Bill and I, and the boys, feel very thankful we were able to share our love and grief with family and friends with a funeral after Abigail's death. My heart goes out to everyone experiencing grief right now, whether it is new or old. The things that have helped me are the same things I try to do for others:
send a text message or email
make a phone call and plan to spend time just talking
go on a walk with someone you're quarantined near
drop off a gift at the door
share a favorite book, or talk about what you're reading
really respond to facebook and instagram posts, not just with a like
Thank you to our earthly angels!! I'm feeling ministered to during this time, and it is making all the difference. I hope I can return the favor and pay it forward.
Some good news for Abigail's fans and family: We just got the call that the last few pieces of her memorial have been delivered to our mortuary! We will be putting them all together tomorrow afternoon, hopefully getting them set soon after.
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