Abigail's Stocking

This blog is called Abigail's Stocking, even though we'll be sharing our journey throughout the seasons. During my long commute to campus at BYU, I had a lot of time to think. I grieved for the life I thought Abigail should have, and I grieved for my own lost moments with her, from talking to her about boys to teaching her to dance, to sending her off on a mission and crying at her wedding. My grief was intense, and I prayed in between the tears. I felt like this idea was given to me as a prompting from the Holy Spirit, and as a partial answer to my grief.

Abigail's Stocking.

Yes, we would make her a stocking. She was part of the family, after all. But what would we put inside it? We would have to make gifts in her honor, or we could make promises about how we would honor her life with ours.

Yes! This would be a way to help the whole family heal, and a way for us to remember her and our family goal of meeting up at that big reunion in heaven someday. It felt so right. The more I thought about it, the more I loved the idea. I shared it with my husband and he agreed it would be a good thing.

Tonight is the last Sunday before Christmas, and we chose tonight to write in the Christmas journal that lives in Abigail's stocking. We started our entries with, "Dear Abigail," and ended with our signature with love. Each person thought of something unique to give to Abigail. Some thought of doing service in her name, or mentioning her in their prayers every day. Some chose to promise to visit her grave every month this year. I promised her the gift of life, for as long as she keeps it, and I told her I am writing a song for her. Our youngest, who is three, told her that this year he would read her the book, The Diggingest Dog. Every gift came from the purity of our hearts, and each one was signed with love.

Already I have seen the blessing of this new tradition. We talked about how even though we can't see Abigail, or Heavenly Father or Mother, or Jesus, we know they are real. We can picture them as we pray and as we live our lives in honor of them. Abigail has a real physical body. We believe God the Father and Jesus Christ do, as well. And while Abigail will be separated from this broken body in the next few months, she will be resurrected with the rest of us, following in Christ's footsteps. Her body will be perfect and we will see her face at last. That will be my new favorite day.